GiraSoul

Ending another server

2012-01-21T20:18:00.000-08:00

Its endgame time in Travian yet again - and Im looking forward to a minimum of several months off. Was reading back here today, wanting to show a friend a picture of the bedroom mural as I was describing what the new mural project was going to look like. I ran across some of my posts on leadership.

After leading teams for roughly the last 4 years, its almost hard to imagine and identify with how constrained I felt about leadership. We have excelled in the international servers on Travian, one of the largest browser games in existence. And its been hellaciously hard work. Incredible dedication from people that love the team and pull together to get done what we do. Its taken a teeth grinding obsession with organization and incredibly gifted partners in leadership. I love Wild. With our second server win almost completed, I can proudly say Wild is a unique and incredible experience.

It also boggles my mind that it took an internet game and the anonymity of a keyboard interface to get me past gender labels and naysayers. I CAN LEAD.

Thank you God.

Girasoul
Mama Bear of The Wild
Meta Leader

wow

2011-03-03T22:01:00.000-08:00

Long time no posts...in fact, just about since I started my Travian obsession.

I'm taking a few.months off from it and trying to reorganize and trim down life. It's been supposed to be a time of rest these last few years, but its felt like life ramped up the intensity instead. Four kids are just a handfull no matter how you cut it. Hopefully.mobile access will bring me back to blogging.

Revising my life...

2008-04-25T11:58:00.001-07:00

I go through this thing every time my life goes through major change. I try to reinvent myself.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes I just fall back to the same patterns of behavior I was trying to banish. Sometimes it has unexpected benefits.

My current reworking is trying to reforge my anger button. Yes, I use forge deliberately because it's a hot topic. And it definitely takes pressure to bring it to a workable state. Often a few blows to my ego are needed as well - so forge is a very appropriate wording...

Last December I started training to drive school buses. Ironically enough, I had always felt as a student that busing was for those who couldn't do 'real' work. Hah - I bet God is having a good laugh at me now! The training wasn't too bad, the job seemed easy enough and the big plus - I can bring my kids.

I wasn't 'on the bench' more than a few days when I was given a route I would be taking over. A driver was getting a full time office job and leaving the busing world. I spent the next two weeks driving with her and learning her students and her route.

And listening to her yell. 'Sit down' 'Shut up' 'Quiet down' 'Knock it off' 'Do you want a write up?' 'That's it, I'm writing you up!' Not that she ever did...

It was a flashback to childhood, to my Dad yelling. It seemed like he lived in his own world - and whatever infringed on that world triggered the anger button. My shoulders are tensing and my heartbeat accelerating just thinking about it.

Did I mention, this route had a reputation as the worst route in the system? The students acted up and out for every sub that came through. Not that it wasn't their usual behavior for the driver anyway...

It cemented my desire to be different. To live out Christ the bus driver to the best of my ability. 'Please' 'Thank you' became my beginning and end. 'Good morning' 'good afternoon' 'have a good day' 'see you later' 'be careful' 'enjoy the sunshine' and anything else I could think of to care for my students as people. Not peons. Not subordinates. Not scum of the earth...

Let's face it. Public servants like cops, firemen, crossing guards, sales people in stores, the check out clerk - anyone who has to deal with people as part of their job seems to be low on the job hierarchy. Apparently, the people who keep everyone else's lives running smoothly aren't the important ones. But, I am making a bigger difference here than I have made at any of my important office jobs.

I have 110 - 120 students that I transport each day to school. I am the first school representative to greet them and the last to see them each day. I know each of their names because for the first two weeks I practiced every time I saw them. (The last bus driver didn't know all their names) Now, I greet them by name with a smile each morning and kindness. I don't yell at them - mostly. I do ask them nicely with a please and thank you. And if the phase of the moon - alignment of the planets - the itch hits - for whatever reason they're having trouble behaving safely, I pull over, cross my arms and wait. They're big kids, they know what's wrong and they know how to fix it. Besides, they all just really want to get home...

Which is not to say that it's been a bed of roses by any stretch. I've been threatened (the 'Mom look' ended that one), a kid got beat on in the back of the bus while we were loading (can't see through people), I can't even find appropriate words to describe too much of the nonsense. Mostly, it's just kids pushing the limits as far as they can. And weirdly, I'd label them all good kids - with normal problems - they aren't 'the worst' anymore. And oddly enough, I love them.

It isn't me evangelizing the world for Christ. My mission field isn't Mongolia like I dreamed. It's loving the world for Christ in Country Hills, Raintree, on Candleberry Court, along Kingsmill. It's driving a big yellow bus as the kids in the back sing 'If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.' Yeah, that was Friday and I was a bit weirded out - even if it was in a good way.

Will I keep doing this? I don't know. But it's shaping me in ways I never knew I needed. It isn't always easier to be patient with my kids - but I am learning ways to shape behavior that aren't on the punish/reward spectrum. I am trying to operate outside the power structure - to not get my way because I am the authority figure. More often than not, I am receiving cooperation and not because I threaten retribution. Is the Kingdom coming to hand on a bus? Maybe it's a little closer...

Kicking butt musings...

2008-04-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

So, instead of a good KIYAAA! to a body part, do I fight with words? Have I graduated from preschool..."Corwin stop hitting your sister!"..."But she said..."..."Don't care what she said, you need to say not hit!" To elementary? Snide remarks, disparaging comments, rants when the world is not as it should be...Blame you, blame whomever, don't blame me....

I'm school bus driving at the moment - a job that introduces you to new levels of human (using that loosely) interaction. Lately I've been blessed with a monitor - an extra adult to sit in back and make sure there are no permanent injuries. You think I'm joking - 4th to 6th grade is rough. We compared notes today on what was causing our problems in the back and it was an eye opening revelation.

The kids I thought were okay? Not. The not so great kids - well, at least I was acurate there.

The rest? let's just say: phase of the moon, alignment of the planets, etc.

But in the conversation, I had to ask myself, am I any different? When I complain, wail and rant about how it doesn't get better... Really? When will I grow up...

More musing...

2008-04-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

This morning (oh so long ago after a preschool b-day party) at church, Mike asked how we have changed since the church plant began several years ago. I answered "permission" I feel like I have found permission to be who I am. The pieces that are slowly awakening again include: my martial arts, my creativity and art, my drive to do fun/odd things.

THus far, creativity is winning out the most - with The Embellished Life continuing onwards, it's given me an outlet for the ideas that are constantly rumbling forth. Current project as a case in point, I'm learning how to make jewelery. No not string some beads. Realllly, design in wax, make molds and pour molten metal **very carefully** How cool is that?? or really, how HOT!

Can I have permission to value the call to fight? Is non-violence the only answer? Does God call some of us to kick butt? Does aggression play into Satan's hand? Hmm...I think I need to chew on this one....

Musings...

2008-04-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

So I've been sitting here thinking about how short a time we've had with Jenand how little time is left...

I haven't had time to blog much this spring or last fall or last summer...Okay, yes, true confession time - I got out of the habit. With so many important-to-me-people leaving this summer (almost our whole church is moving away over the course of 3 months) it's very much time to re-acquire the habit.

So today, comments on change. Starting with how much I've changed. When we started this church planting effort, I was struggling with what I felt God asking me to be - and how little room for me to be that in the churches I had been part of. While I'm sure I'll struggle again with it - and the institutional bias that I struggled against before - I'm also sure that I have had a clear space to explore what it could be and what it may not be. Church planting is opportunity more than anything I've ever experienced to intensely imagine and examine what the church is and who we are as the "church" embodied.

In such a small group, it's easier to see how each of our individual influences affect how the church operates. My view of how a church works has shifted. Before, I was a "volunteer and get it done" person before and saw influence being exerted in the group dynamic of a church's "works." I was frustrated by the 80/20 statistic. Now I see limitations of the group dynamic - how church structures can limit our ability to accomplish small tasks at the same time they facilitate us accomplishing larger projects together. I can see a spectrum of responsibility - from our purpose of individually being responsible for what God is calling us to - to our cooperation as a group to do things that take on larger issues than we can handle alone.

Although we were excited as whole to take on this church planting effort and did not suffer from lack of ideas, we definately suffered from lack of energy to accomplish all we conceived. Part of the problem definately revolved around community - trying to acheive it. With so many of our members commuting long distances, trying to live out our local influence was difficult - first, in the sense that our individual circles of influence didn't overlap in our day to day lives. On the other side of the coin however, our seed is scattered widely and has touched more lives than otherwise. Secondly, with time spent commuting, the time we spend on projects and events is lengthened - it takes more to do less and this has led to more exhaustion for those who've had to commute. Do these problems make it any less worth doing? My answer, of course, is no! But it's definately influenced the culture of our church and what we focus on...

I'm still thinking some of these ideas through and this small ramble is more a matter of me trying to solidify some of the vague musing...so anyone else vaguely musing about how this has worked and looks is more than welcom to ramble with me...

One more vague suspicion I want to verbalized - can we recognized God's inspiration of ideas and purposes by testing them like the test of the prophets in the OT - does it come to pass? Does God inspire us with ideas and then give us the energy to accomplish the purpose despite obstacles? Some of the ideas for projects we discussed were great ideas - but didn't come to fruition despite how worthy the project might have been - were they just meant to be discussed and influence our paradigms? Can we forgive ourselves for that which we do not accomplish by purposing ourselves towards the things we have the motivation to accomplish?

I read this and I think I need to practice posting - I'm half incoherent. Frustrating but I'll post it anyway for the discipline of posting.

Starved Rock

2008-03-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

So part of the fun of an unintentional community is that we do things together easily...

Like decide to go to Starved Rock, and then start inviting friends, and then turn it into a winter picnic adventure...

We saw bald eagles, frozen waterfalls with ice climbers, beautiful scenery all over and probably more sun than we got all winter.

In all, the total conglomeration of our "family" was 11 people, all of whom Corwin decided needed to live in permanent residence at our house. Much fun!

Unintentional Community

2008-02-27T08:09:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you realize that you've just invited a bunch of people to come for a while and stay? Laugh, move a bunch of stuff out of the way and pretend that you haven't lost your mind...

Jen, a friend of ours from Via Christus Community Church is participating in the masters program at Wheaton College. She was heading to Brazil for a four month mission trip and wasn't sure where she'd be living when she returned after Christmas...

April, another friend from Via Christus, was wanting to move on from her christian camp job - but not move away from the area quite yet. One thing led to another, and well - it's a good thing it's a four bedroom house.

So with two friends coming for awhile to live and laugh with us, we moved Corwin (4yrs) and Angeleah (2 yrs) into a bedroom together, and then Matt's office got moved into our bedroom. Why give them each bedrooms of their own? We have three small children (Theo is 9 months), Jen and April NEED their own space.

Jen arrived shortly after Christmas and April moved in mid-January. I had thought we'd get to spend more time together, but it's definately catch-as-catch-can with everyone on different schedules. Off and on we're home the same nights and it's a lot of fun catching up with what's happening in everyone's lives.

The highlights so far? Having invited two people to come and share our life has sharpened and reinvigorated my relationship with my husband Matt. The same old - same old is no longer the same - it's new. Listening and loving the two gals has helped me remember to listen to and love my husband, and I feel listened to and loved. I've had more energy to put towards reinventing aspects of our relationship that had needed work. And talking about our beliefs, goals and priorities with Jen and April has reminded us what is important to us...

So hopefully it will continue to grow into something beautiful...our unintentional community.

hey, look it's only been a month!

2007-09-19T20:13:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm getting better - honestly I expected you had all dropped me by now, so to come back and find you had noticed I posted makes me feel wonderful. Thank You!!

Have you ever noticed how nearly impossible it is to go counter cultural?

Matt and I have chosen to value several things our culture doesn't:

We want and work towards being debt free. We are living it out so far with "just" a house loan at the moment.

We have three children, ages four, two and four months and I'd like to have one more within the next two years. Is the word "insane" running through your mind at the moment?

We would like to be eco-friendly: drive economically, garden, recycle, etc.

These three values are up for grabs at the moment however, because "real life" has crashed in on us.

Car seats are legally manditory. I have three children with seats to fit in a vehicle. Car seat manufacturers do not make seats that fit three across the back in fuel efficient cars (or maybe just ours). Safety sites warn about not putting children in booster in front seats because air bags can prove fatal. Hmm...

So, what does it say about our culture that your choices narrow to seven passenger minivans or suvs. And minivans are being dropped by most manufacturers. So, what is the eco-friendly family to forced choose from? Or for that matter, the family that doesn't want to go into debt. Obviously we aren't giving up our children...

Hard choices. It'll be interesting to see what we finally decide.

reviewing the blog

2007-08-11T20:24:00.001-07:00

Okay, I get it - I started a new business and a month later quit blogging.

Really, I did have an excuse, I was trying to get my website updated. But that doesn't mean it's a good excuse.

Guess I have to watch that.

How long does it take to get banished?

2007-08-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

So the last post was a few months ago and I can't guarantee that the next post won't be a few months from now - but hey what's a gal to do?

The updates:

Theophilus Jabin Wyncoop was born on May 14th, thanks to the kind and skilled surgical assistance of Dr. Joseph Lisac (great doc by the way). Theo is growing fast, roughly 15lbs already and well into his 3-6 month size clothes.

I can highly recommend c-sections where the surgeon puts in an extra set of stitches through the muscle - I've felt fully recovered since about week 5 and am doing great.

Life's just been busy. My plate business is going great with hardly a pause for the pregnancy and Julie and I are gearing up for Christmas season.

I'll start putting more thoughts out here again. We've just gotten done with a great visit from family and I'm all thought out for the moment.

Hi again from me to you!

So I'll finally get around to doing these surveys

2006-09-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

10% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Okay, I'm truly horrified by this next set of results:

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: Low
Fashion Geekiness: Low
Gamer Geekiness: Low
Geekiness in Love: Low
General Geekiness: Low
Internet Geekiness: Low
Movie Geekiness: Low
Music Geekiness: Low
SciFi Geekiness: Low

How Geeky Are You?

I've misrepresented myself for years. I always thought I really was a geek!

This next one really didn't bother me as much...

You Belong in London

You belong in London, but you belong in many cities... Hong Kong, San Francisco, Sidney. You fit in almost anywhere.
And London is diverse and international enough to satisfy many of your tastes. From curry to Shakespeare, London (almost) has it all!

What European City Do You Belong In?

In all honesty, I have no desire whatsoever to update my circle of friends, it just keeps getting bigger and better. And no friend knows you as well as an old friend.

You've Changed 36% in 10 Years

Ah, the past! You may not remember it well - because you're still living in it.
While you've changed some, you may want to update your wardrobe, music collection and circle of friends.

How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

And yes, I got tagged by Julie for the book survey a LOOONGGG time ago, but my motto is better late than never!

1.One book that changed your life: other than the Bible, the Parksnarrion trilogy by Elizabeth Moon.

2.One book that you’ve read more than once: Most good series - as each new one comes out I reread all the previous ones. Anita Blake by Laurell K Hamilton is killing me...

3.One book you’d want on a desert island: Robinson Crusoe

4.One book that made you laugh: Beauty and the Geek

5.One book that made you cry: Beautiful Joe (my copy is so old it has no cover and the pages are frayed.

6.One book you wish had been written: How to find your way for certain out of your current mess without pissing anyone off...

7.One book you wish had never been written: I don't participate in book banning.

8.One book you’re currently reading: Trying to quit for a little while - when I start I binge (I read the Kushiel series in 3? or was it 4 days...including the new books/series offshoot). Kind of like blogging...

9.One book you’ve been meaning to read: N.T Wright The People of the New Testament (or something like that) I get 5 pages and then get distracted. I had that problem with Divine Conspiracy.

10.One book you’d like to write: God doesn't hate Girls

Oh, and since I'm on this roll how about this too...

You Are a Drama Princess (or Prince)

You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments.
You know how to steal the spotlight...
And how to act out to get your way.

People around you know that you're good for a laugh.
But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone.
Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

Oh NO! How accurate are these anyway??

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

I can live with that one!

You Are Bold And Brave

But daring? Not usually?
You tend to like to make calculated risks.
So while you may not be base jumping any time soon...
You are up for whatever's new and (a little) exciting!

How Daring Are You?

Umm, can someone translate this?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 23% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

So anyone for ebay?

Your Life Is Worth...

$744,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Yahoo!

You Are Incredibly Logical

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic
You think rationally, clearly, and quickly.
A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

I wish...

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

I guess I should quit while I'm ahead...Naaahh.

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Alright, y'all is this one true? If so, I'm so self delusional.

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I should have quit while I was ahead!

You Are 68% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at high risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is very likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

This is better!

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Enough really!

I have problems getting my fingers to work...

2006-09-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

So Aunt Debbie passed this video to me and it seemed fun enough to post.

Enjoy! (But turn on your sound)

Scary thought...

2006-09-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

Saw this when I came online tonight. Made me wonder how much of these statistics are the lifestyles and food consumption we are forced into. What percentage of a given diet is fast food or high fat restaurant food? People eating out of vending machines all day at an office. Access to pop and other bad for us (but really yummy) drinks?

Got to wonder how the Israelites with the dietary emphasis on fresh vegetables and fruits and little meat would have fared vs modern america.

Yahoo!!! (Not the website)

2006-09-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

Yet another announcement by renowned archeologist Wyncoop:

The desk has been rediscovered!

Hey!! I'd like to make an ANNOUNCEMENT!

2006-09-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

Experienced archeologist Charlotte Wyncoop has discovered the seat of her chair. In a fit of sheer boredom and irritation regarding a misplaced item, Archeologist Wyncoop began methodically scraping at the various adhesions near her former computer desk, currently know as the unknown junk file, and after a very tedious and painfully slow 20 minute process was able to identify many of the remains and file them appropriately (circular file, actually rectangular). A celebration ensued immediately prompting this announcement.

For informational purposes, it is interesting to note that items formerly deemed important, if ignored long enough, become garbage. Does this prove the eventual deterioration of the universe??

Next, a truly ancient site, what was formerly known as a computer desk.

Wow! and Frustration!

2006-09-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

I've gotten a couple more plate sales just this last week! Everyone seems really excited about how they can completely customize the plates and have their "perfect" thing on the wall. The downside of course, is that customized plates definately take longer and are more time intensive - but much more fun to see everyone's happy face!

So the upside of small business ownership is satisfaction, but the downside is time at night after the kids go to sleep I'm working. Today, I got to run all over Fox Valley Shopping Center looking for a specific paper I need for a plate, only to find out the only store to carry it is the local one I originally bought it at, which is closed on Sundays. So tomorrow early it will be the paper run, then putting the last plate together. Hopefully I can kill two birds with one stone and ask about getting appointments with area gift store people.

A friend suggested I look at ebay and try listing them under Christian gifts. Maybe I'll try that...

The Embellished Life's First Craft Show

2006-09-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Julie and I did our first craft show on Saturday! We got tons of compliments and lots of interest in her quilts and my plates. It was a lot of fun...

We walked around early and took a look at the different setups and what other crafters were offering. Then at the end, we took another look to see what sold and what didn't. It was interesting, we learned that merchandising occurs best at eye level. A wide range in product pricing was important because different markets look for different price levels. And the economy greatly affects the crafting trade, as they are mostly luxury, or non-necessary items. Apparently, when the economy was doing well, it was a great business. But several long time (20-23 yrs) crafters mentioned that now it was difficult to make a living.

Was the show successful for us? We sold more than some and less than others...but we learned a HUGE amount. I'd call it a success. Come visit Julie's Shieldmaiden site and my Embellished Life site and tell us what you think. Thanks!

Haiti

2006-08-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

So the coolest new thing I'm thinking about/working on is this project called New Life for Haiti. It's being spearheaded by a group of churches in the midwest who have decided to actually do something about some of the worst poverty in the world. Rather than sending donations to a big organization and just have a "check in the mail" mentality, they've decided that the best way to make a difference is to do something about it personally. They chose Haiti because of the long time relationship that LifeSpring Community Church has had with Dr. Katie Wolf and Steve and Joline Moore who have previously worked longterm in another section of Haiti. This region where New Life for Haiti is focusing is one of the least served areas of Haiti and most impoverished. The Gatineau area has one hospital, in the port city of Jeremie, and no medical care available in its extensively mountainous area. The first goal is to build and staff an outpatient clinic. The project hopes to help Haitians help themselves by giving them ways to defeat their poverty - education, agricultural resources, hiring them for the jobs the project generates.

What really excites me is the person to person approach. It's not a check to some big organization, it's my money spend on the cinderblock building the clinic, the antibiotic that saves someone's life, the surgury table that means someone doesn't die bearing a child. It's my money paying another Haitian teacher's salary so instead of one teacher and 50+ students, there's two. My money that fixes the roof so it doesn't cave in on the kids heads.

Better yet, it doesn't even take a lot of my money. The average salary is $300 a year. A better home is about $750. For a $100 I can do so much to make someone's life better. And it won't be a check in the mail, I can meet these people. My children can sponsor these kids and know who they're sponsoring. It's a relationship, a person.

Dr. Wolf, Cherlie (a Haitian nurse working with Dr. Wolf), Steve and Joline Moore and Dr. Rene (another partner) were at LifeSpring talking about New Life for Haiti a few weeks ago. Here is a webcast of that interview.

Can you see why I'm so excited?

Hiding

2006-08-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you go through your life hiding? Hide this thought so as not to upset others. Hide this belief because it might cause others to falter. Hide your thoughts, feelings, inadequacies and hopes because they could create strife and mayhem all around you. I hate hiding. I don't want to do it. Yet again, and again I am forced by sin within my culture to hide or cover over or not mention what is really going on inside me.

The new heaven and the new earth will have no hiding. No envy or jealousy, no one upmanship, no cause to be less than who we were created to become. I think we will still struggle and grow, but be redeemed and without sin, able to grow freely.

I long for this with the tears of many years.

The Embellished Life

2006-08-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

So, my business is finally up and actually running. What business? Decorative plates: scripture verse studies, stories, seasonal, names, personalized and all unique custom gifts. Each one is different since they are all hand painted. I've got the first five sold and several more potential orders to follow up on. I am very excited because it blends together all the stuff I love to do: art, studying the Bible, and hearing people's stories. Hopefully, with a craft show in Yorkville Sept 2, I'll get a feel for how well they will actually be received. Wish me luck!

July 15th Service

2006-08-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

So the next opportunity for a message went like this...

Opening remarks (Mike)

(My intro comments)
Tonight we're going to talk about faith and healing. (Pass out pads and pens) Our faith is our lifesource, our connection to the living God. In doing this message, I'm being challenged and I'd like you to join me. The challenge tonight is to really open up to God, to ask him to show us a starting place where he would like to see growth. Ask Him for one thing to take away from tonight to work on, an idea, a different way of thinking, a different way of living. We have to grow, we have to change, because if we stay the same we are no closer to God than when we first began. The notepads and pens are for writing down anything that strikes your interest tonight and we'll have a time of reflection at the end to talk to God about what He wants us to take home tonight. Let's begin with prayer. Raeann?

Opening prayer (Raeann's choice of either of the following two prayers)
Father you are our Alpha and Omega, our beginning and our end. Holy Spirit, you fill us and embue us with the very essence of divinity. Christ Jesus, you are the Holy One sent from the Lord God Almighty himself to redeem, to heal the world. We gather together tonight to become clay in your hands, to be remolded, remodeled into the vision you have had for us since the creation of the world. Open our ears that we may hear, open our eyes that we may see, heal our blind vision of our lives, heal our brokenness and recreate in us the image of God that you instilled. Let us learn tonight to love as you love, live as you live that the thanksgiving of many may redound for Your glory, O Lord of all Creation.

Lord God, you who knit our bodies
together in our mother's womb
you knew us before our creation
and imagined all we could be
you whom we call Abba, Father

We bow before you now, asking
for your presence in our midst(?)
We seek wisdom and instruction
all truth, all goodness comes from you
Our hearts and minds open to your love (?)

Mend our wounds, scars, pain and sorrow
Unwind our twisted pathways too
Bend the errant branch before you
to hold good fruit, prune dead away
Shaped and grown to rejoice with you.

Lead Creator, Abba Father
Dance divinity's music true
Sons and daughters of the Spirit
Spinning grace and faith fast stepping
Joy and peace, hope and love

The Puppet's story (Kelsey, Clarissa, Mike and I)
Char: So the story we'll be hearing about tonight is from Luke Chapter 8, the story of the woman who was bleeding and Jesus healing Jarius' daughter.

Erica (clarissa): "Oh cool, oh cool! I love that story can I listen too? Please, I'll be really quiet... Please, please, please...

Char: "Sure you can everyone is welcome to join us, I'm Char, what's your name?

Erica: My name's Erica"

Snuffy (Kelsey): And I'm Snuffy. Can I listen too?

Char: Hi, Snuffy and Erica, nice to meet you. Sure, you can listen too..

Snuffy: Umm, what am I listening to?

Erica: The story of Jarius' daughter, duhhh.

Snuffy: Excuse me, that wasn't nice. You need to say sorry.

Erica: Sorry for being mean. I just sometimes say things without thinking.

Mike: Hey, it isn't just the story of Jarius' daughter, it's the story of the woman who was bleeding. Oh hi, my name's ----

Char: Yes you are right, it is both their stories.

Erica: Hi Jack, glad you made it. Kids can you tell Jack what story we're telling?

Kids:

Jack:(really excited) that's my favorite story! Oh can I tell it, can I tell it please! Please!

Char: I don't know, kids do would you like Jack to tell the story?

Kids:

Char: Okay, Jack go ahead...

Jack: Okay, everybody sit down and get comfortable. Long, long ago and far, far away there lived a Jedi knight

Mike: Jack! Wrong story!

Jack: Oops, just kidding. Well you know the Jedi knights were kind of like Jesus.

Erica: That's a discussion for another night. Can you tell the Jarius' story or not?

Jack: Yeah, I will I promise this time. Long long ago, and far far away in the land of Israel God sent his Son Jesus to live with his people and teach them how to be God's children again. Jesus did many incredible things before God took him back and one of them is the story of Jarius.

Everyone had heard that Jesus was coming and was very excited. Jarius was really really excited because his daughter, his baby girl, his only child was really really sick. She was so sick he was afraid she would die. He went as fast as he could to where Jesus was and fell down at his feet. He begged him, "Jesus, please please come to my house, please touch my daughter and heal her I'm so afraid she'll die"

Jesus started towards Jarius house through the really crowded streets. Hey guys, how crowded do you think those streets were? Can you show me? (Ask a girl to be the woman beforehand to touch "Jesus" shirt ask a boy to be Jesus) Can you tell who touched your shirt? That's what it was like, but even more crowded...

A woman who was sick from bleeding snuck up and touched the edge of Jesus cloak and immediately her bleeding stopped.

Jesus said, who touched me?

Peter said " Look at all the people, everyone is touching you!

Jesus said "I know that power went out, someone touched me."

The woman wanted to hide, but everyone was going to look for her. So she came and fell at Jesus' feet. She told how she had touched his cloak for healing and God had instantly healed her.

48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

While Jesus was saying that to the woman, someone from Jarius house came to him and
(this is where I started ad libbing from the actual verses)
49While Jesus was still speaking, someone came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," he said. "Don't bother the teacher any more."

50Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."

51When he arrived at the house of Jairus, he did not let anyone go in with him except Peter, John and James, and the child's father and mother. 52Meanwhile, all the people were wailing and mourning for her. "Stop wailing," Jesus said. "She is not dead but asleep."

53They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. 54But he took her by the hand and said, "My child, get up!" 55Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat. 56Her parents were astonished, but he ordered them not to tell anyone what had happened.

Snuffy: hey, if they weren't supposed to tell, how do we know the story?

Mike: obviously they didn't keep the secret. Jesus told lots of people not to tell others and they did.

Erica: It sounds like God comes through when no one else can. Remember that song Julie taught you all a couple of weeks ago "My God is so great, so mightly and powerful, there is nothing my God cannot do.

God is so Big (Julie)

Erica: There's lots of stories about Jesus healing people, but they are all about people's faith in Jesus and God too. Remember, Jesus said that when people didn't believe, he couldn't do the miracles. It's team work. God does the work, but he only does it when we trust and believe in Him.

Jack: Jesus didn't even have to touch the woman, she just touched his cloak and she believed that God could heal her and she was. We can't touch Jesus right now, but like the woman we can believe that God can do incredible stuff still today.

Thoughts about Faith and Healing (Brainstorming) How do we think about these stories today? What bothers you? What do you wish for?

Scripture Reading (who are you in the story, Luke and Mark versions, sharing perspectives time) my personal story will wrap up this and transition us

My story: In November of 1999, I went in for my yearly physical to a new doctor. I had noticed a lump in my stomach that occurred regularly. After some poking and prodding, he told me I was just constipated. When November rolled around again, the company Matt worked for suddenly closed their doors one day, and had been "forgetting" to pay the health insurance premiums. Suddenly we were without work, without insurance and my lump was constantly noticeable.
At Thanksgiving, my family got together with my grandfather. I took a photo of my dad and grandfather side by side, they looked like old and wizened brothers. Grandpa swore at him and told him he better get in to see a doctor - or else!
My dad did go in and for the next month came in for test after test, everything the doctor could think of. At Christmas he was hospitalized, after he collapsed. The bloodwork was crazy with extra plasma cells, but the doctor's still had no idea what was causing it. Dad didn't want to talk about it, go see a different doctor or find an alternate treatments. He said, what will happen will happen. He felt that God couldn't forgive some terrible things he had done and it seemed like he felt this illness was a deserved punishment...

Our insurance was still messed up, I still hadn't even gone to see a doctor.

By March, my stomach had grown so large that people at work and at church were stopping me to congratulate me on my pregnancy - touching my stomach, asking when I was due. I was beginning to panic, I was bleeding. My cycles had over the course of the last 3-4 months lengthened so much that I didn't have a cycle anymore. I just bled. I'd stand up and bleed. I'd lay down and bleed. I bled as I walked around. I was constantly going to the bathroom, constantly thirsty, tired, out of breath. My boss was incredibly kind. I'd arrive, get out of the car and bleed so heavily that I'd get dizzy. I took to bringing towels and wearing skirts, bringing extra clothes.
Meanwhile, the doctor's finally figured out what was wrong with my father, a very rare, cancer like disease called amyloidosys where the bone marrow starts churning out one of the types of plasma and doesn't stop. It overproduces the cells until the body chokes on them - they clog the organs until the heart literally can't beat, the kidneys and liver fail. The doctor's found a type of medicine that stopped the production of the cells, but for my dad the damage was already too great. They gave him 6 weeks to 6 years to live.

End of April the insurance was finally straightened out and May 3rd, I went in to a different doctor in Plainfield. The new doctor examined me and his first words were: "Do you have any idea how sick you are? You could die...soon. Do you have any children? (We didn't, we'd been putting it off")
"I'm sorry, but it looks like you probably have a massive fibroid tumor. Is your bleeding always this bad? You'll probably have to have a hystectomy. I don't know how or if they can get this out otherwise. Dr. Snydersmith did blood work and ordered ultrasounds, he set me up with Dr. Lisac, a gynecologist at Rush Copley for a consultation.

My dad's kidneys had failed and he was traveling to Rush Copley for dialysis treatments twice a week. He was constantly short of breath, because his heart couldn't pump hard enough to keep him oxygenated.

I started researching fibroids. The conviction immediately had started growing in my heart that God had something different in mind, than a hystectomy. My dad had no interest in seeing if there was an alternate treatment. He felt the doctors were doing everything they could, if he died, he died. So many years of listening to dad talking about wanting to escape his life, made me think that he'd finally gotten his wish. I believed in something else.

The tests and Dr. Lisac confirmed the existence of a massive fibroid tumor - 8" x 8" x 5." The tumor was preventing the normal closure of the uterine arteries causing my intense bleeding. He referred me to specialists, including the best fibroid surgeon in Chicago and scheduled tests. And since, everything he said ended in hysterectomy and God was saying not, I started looking for alternatives. In the course of the week and a half, between Dr. Snydersmith's diagnosis and Dr. Binor (the fibroid surgeon)'s appointment, I read everything I could find. God had help me latch on to the key, the sheer size of the tumor made the uterine wall so thin that it would be like trying to sew a balloon back together. The morning prior to Dr. Binor's appointment I met with the head of radiology at Northwestern and talked about embolization, where they cut of the blood supply to a tumor and kill it, which causes it to shrink. I wanted to know if embolization and then surgery to remove the tumor was possible. He was cautiously optimistic but he emphasized, no one had ever done it.

That afternoon, after listening to Dr. Binor explain how he would tell his own wife to have a hystectomy, I offered the alternative. Embolization to shrink the tumor and then surgical removal. He was skeptical - no one had ever combined the procedures and it was a very long time to wait for a remote chance of success.
I knew from my research that small tumors have an average shrinkage of 42%, but I'd only found one case had where a large one gotten anywhere near that. Dr. Binor is a devout Jew and so I was honest with him:
I believe in the God of the Old and New Testament who did all kinds of miracles. I want a miracle and the only way to get that is to go through the process and let God decide whether he'll give me one or not. What's the worst that can happen? I have a hysterectomy. I have nothing to lose but some time and it gives God a chance to do what he will.

Dr. Binor thought I was crazy but the plan became: an embolization to kill the tumor, wait 6 mos, put me into artificial menopause with Lupron for 3 mos to shrink anything left alive (and drive Matt crazy), then surgery to remove the tumor.

My dad died a month after the embolization. The tumor shrank a total of 48% and Dr. Binor and Dr. Lisac were amazed when it shelled out perfectly into Binors hands at the surgery. Corwin was conceived 3 months later. My uterus did not rupture during pregnancy and the c-section went cleanly 9 months later. We have two beautiful children that we would not have had without a miracle from God.

So why a miracle for me and death for my dad? It's too pat and easy to say "well you had faith" We prayed and believed and asked for a miracle for my dad. We only stopped asking after he drew his last breath. We wanted a miracle, a last minute life altering reprieve where suddenly he would live and value life and us more. Instead he died. Honestly, I know that this is one of those unanswerable questions - the ones you ask when you see God face to face. But his still small voice inside me says it's important to keep asking it and keep seeking the answer because the question that really lies at the heart of it is about Faith. What is our faith really like? What exactly is it that we believe in?

I used to think faith was like something physical - either you had it or you didn't - as though it were an object to be obtained. As we've listened to Luke though, its become apparent that it is a continuum, that your faith starts small and is nurtured and grows.

There's a statistic floating around out there that on average every ten years a major event strikes any given individual. A major job loss, sickness, unexpected disaster, major life shifts. Whether the statistic is accurate or not, what is absolutely true is that we will face disasters in our lives from which no one else will be able to save us. What good will our faith be to us in those moments? Will we turn away and claim there is no God because we thought faith was like standard of living insurance? Will we cry out to God about the unfairness of it all, because we think we're special and deserve better? Can we begin to see these moments as opportunities - and I am not minimalizing the pain -these moments are chances to see God intersect with the mundane and transform it into something spectacular. There have been two ways our family has dealt with the pain - First, to turn from God and wallow in it as my Dad did with his ameloidosis and my brother did when his lungs collapsed. My brother has survived.

The other way to deal with it is to turn to God and wallow in it - In our story, both the woman and Jarius's daughter were "made whole." The greek word is "sozo" in both cases, it indicates being saved from extremity. Within Jewish tradition, this idea of being saved in extremity is the God's role alone: idols, angels, astrologers, armies, kings cannot save. It was a serious sin when Israel asked for a king in the OT, Israel indicated that it wanted to save itself, salvation coming from it's own ranks, rather than directly from God. God was to be the source of saving, lest someone who was weaker resort to sin in order to survive. Thus only God who had all might and right, could help overcome extremity. Man's intervention to help and save could take place only if God works in them and through them.

My sister's story is an incredible constant act of God saving her from extremity. She was into drugs, alcohol, parties and lots of sleeping around. When she became pregnant, not even knowing who the father was, she chose to let God save her from her extremity. He has taken her alcohol, smoking, and drug addictions away. He has provided housing several times by divine intervention. He has given her raises at work when she needs more money to live on, directly and obviously provided ways to deal as a single mom. Her story is incredible, and He comes through for her every single time, not just in a getting by sense, but really blessing her. I want that kind of relationship with God?

This is the God in whom we have faith. The God who brought Israel out of Egypt, parted the Red Sea, provided food and drink and kept his people safe. The God who took form among us as Jesus, who healed the blind, walked on water, brought the paralyzed to their feet, who has touched you and me - who has asked us to let him save us in our extremity.

"Sozo" made whole is used by Luke when he talks about healing but also when he talks about God saving us from our sin. If God is supposed to be the only one to save us in extremity, can you begin to see the problem when people try to save themselves, be self-sufficient? Can you see why it was faith for the bleeding woman having exhausted her other options to throw herself at Jesus' mercy hoping for God's miracle. Why Jarius needed to believe that Jesus could do as he had promised?

Faith presented in Luke is dynamic. It has the implications of entrusting oneself to God - like the those being healed of infirmities, of committing oneself and pursuing God in Luke's mentions of the crowds and the efforts people made to get to Jesus, of action dominating knowledge - those who needed Jesus being honored over religious and intellectual leadership, of faith a response to God's action - the crowds surrounding Jesus and people pressing in to be healed as others have been healed and finally Luke includes in his descriptions of faith, a desperate, unsure hope for God to come through. "Will you heal me Jesus." I don't know about you but the faith I grew up with wasn't this kind of faith. This is a faith built on evidence and action, a faith built on being in extremity. Watching my sister, I've seen faith start out as a tiny seed, something desperately hoped for and needed, and as each time God came through watched that faith grow. That tiny seed took root the moment she let God save her in her extremity and has grown into a wild vine that has covered most of her life. Watching Beth live out her faith, helped me trust God to save me in my extremity.

Don't misunderstand me. Faith is not a bargaining chip. It isn't something that gets us what we want. We are not at the center. (Circle diagram) God is. Faith is a response to God.

In faith, both Jarius and the woman were looking for Jesus. They were looking for God to intersect with their lives and save them.

In faith, both the bleeding woman and Jarius physically sought Jesus. They went after their healing, they pursued it. They found out Jesus was coming and made sure to get to him. Jarius relied on Jesus authority to connect to God's power. He needed Jesus' to come with him, to touch his daughter, to be there. The woman focused on Jesus' as a vessel of God, she touched his cloak assuming she could make the connection there.

In faith, they trusted in Jesus. For Jarius, Jesus was God personified, he trusted him to choose to heal his daughter. For the woman, Jesus was the vessel of God's healing. She trusted that God would heal her.

In faith, though they had exhausted their own means, they knew they hadn't exhausted God's means. Jarius' daughter was dead before Jesus even arrived. The woman had spent all she had on physicians. They were trying to bite off something only God could chew.

We're going to spend the next few minutes talking to God. I'll be reading some questions and then there will be a few minutes of silence for you to talk with God directly about what he wants you to hold onto this week.

Is this my kind of faith? Is this the kind of faith that we have experienced in our own lives? Do I entrusting myself to God, ? Do you? My future even? Is our faith a pursuit of God like Jarius and the woman - will we not let him get away? Do my actions dominate my knowledge- do I try to let God rather than just think about it...? Do I seek to see God at work around me, that when my time for desperate measures comes, my faith is a response to God's action that I've already seen? Can I let myself be comfortable with a desperate, unsure hope for God to come through, so that I don't try to fix it myself and deny God the chance to make my mundane, his kind of spectacular.

Reflection (directed time alone with God)

Song: It is well with my soul

Communion (Mike)

Responsive Reading (Wendy)
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the sufficiency of Jesus Christ, that His life might be made manifest in our body.

For in all of our brothers and sisters upon this earth, we see Christ looking at us from their eyes

And in our lives, Christ becomes present to love others. For the Lord God sent his Son the Christ to heal the nations and return the outcast.

We are called to Love the Lord Our God with all our heart, and soul and mind. And to love our neighbor as ourselves.

In this we become God's vessels of grace and mercy, of healing and redemption.

For all things are for His sake, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Closing Prayer (Steve)

Closing Remarks (Mike)

And so, that was that service...

May 13th message

2006-08-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after I gave this message back in May, I was so embarrassed by it that I didn't want to post it. Given a little time to forget, I'll read it again after I get it posted so I don't chicken out again...

May 13th, 2006

WELCOME

Welcome to Via Christus Community Church. It's a place where we're constantly trying to give birth to this incredible vision that God has put inside us: to love Him and love others. We want to celebrate God passionately and creatively, become the people He originally intended us to be, and pursue the glimmerings of Him that we find all around us. We love others, valuing the beautiful diversity of talents, experience and personhood we see everywhere, embracing a life shared deeply together, and pouring ourselves out joyfully from our abundance.

Pastor Mike is away at a church conference in Texas and meanwhile, Julie and Emma are taking the opportunity to visit family. In their absence, we are all ministers one to another - a serving priesthood of believers. Tonight it is our prayer, that we come together under that incredible vision God has put inside us: to Love Him and love each other well. Let's pray.

PRAYER

Lord, we stand in the middle of your kingdom and wonder where it is. We forget that everyone is part of the kingdom, even those we don't like. Your son sat and ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. So we wonder- if we saw him today, would we welcome him into our homes knowing the company he keeps? Kill our egos, God. Sometimes we act like we own the kingdom. We make up rules and say they're yours. We pronounce judgements and say they're from your lips. Wake us up Father. Help us. Open our eyes so we may see the world as your son saw it. Open our minds to see the possibilities we shut out. Open our hearts so that we may love as Jesus loved, without judgement or condition. Open our lives so that we may accept the rest of the world as Jesus accepts us. Amen.

READING (Wendy) Luke 6:1-11

JASON'S STORY

BACKGROUND (slide of verses with highlighted text)

When Mike asked me to do the message on legalism I laughed. Or maybe the most correct picture was along the lines of "hehehe"(rubbing hands together). I thought it would be easy, I love talking about it and what it's done to me. However, when I began trying to get some thoughts down on paper and doing some research, I realized what a tremendously complex subject it was. Legalism touches on so many of our basic problems as people. It touches on our desire to be in control, our desire to be accepted, our wanting to put ourselves first and our wanting to oversimplify. It's about how small we want to make God. It's both as simple and as complex as saying that it is "the law" versus "love." Or as simple and complex as saying that it is trying to have power over someone or God having power over someone. Or settling for some rules rather than a real relationship with God. Or God as an intellectual subject vs a living loving creator. Or putting the rules higher than God. Growing vs stagnation. Power from God vs power over God. Seeking the good, right and true vs. seeking self assurance. The letter of the law vs. the intent. Serving the law rather than serving God. It's the difference between a human being and a human doing.

Let's start off this evening by taking a quick romp through some history to glean an idea of what legalism looked like in Jesus time and then from there we'll try to get at the root of what it is or isn't and what causes legalism. After that we'll try to translate the "old" legalism, into what it looks like now, in the churches, between people, and between us and God. Hopefully, we come away from tonight with our heads and hearts spinning a little, but better able to follow Jesus.

I have to admit I'm falling in love with Jesus. Jesus has this incredible ability to see to the very heart of people. It was like the external stuff wasn't even noticeable, except where it infected people's hearts. He was so much more than just a bunch of rules. It's such a contrast with the religious leaders of the day, the Pharisees and Scribes or teachers of the law. Their concern was that every little external observance was carried out to its fullest extent. They had limits on how far a walk was allowed on the Sabbath, limits on the amount of effort that could be put out before you were "working" on the Sabbath and violating its rest. It's the difference between seeing a human being instead of just a human doing. It's the difference between little nitpicky god, and a God so complex and unfathomable that we hardly understand a fraction of his creation.
(Jesus healing slide)
In Luke's gospel, it's the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who are constantly challenging Jesus. The Pharisees themselves were a religious group much like the denominations we have within Christendom today - instead of Methodist, Presbyterians or Catholics, Israel had Pharisees, Saducees, Essenes, and numerous others. However, the teachers of the law were different. The "teachers of the law" refer to the scribes, an official religious office. These were the Rabbis, teachers, religious judges., In Jesus time, they were the ultimate authority on all questions of faith and practice.
(Pharisee photo)
When a human being is reduced to a human doing and God is put in a small box labeled rules, the technical term for that is legalism and if you compared it to a disease, legalism infected Israel in Jesus' time like a plague. A large part of this was due to the role of the teachers of the law. From the time of Nehemiah, the office of the Scribe was largely intended to preserve and teach the law of God. However in reality that role expanded farther. The scribes divided into three areas of study, the Midrash which focused on scriptural investigation (think CSI), the Halakhah aimed at what rules were to be observed (kind of like the tax and the IRS), and the Haggadah (think street preachers) focused the oral tradition in the broadest sense.
(Pharisee painting)
By Jesus time, the law was not simply a matter of the directives laid out in Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, but also all the traditions of the forefathers, all the teachings of various Rabbis through the years, and all the scriptural interpretations and conclusions drawn. The purpose was perfect adherence to the laws of God - and by extending and adding to its provisions they proposed to protect anyone from accidently or intentionally straying across its sacred boundaries. There was a strong tradition that not only had God given Moses the written laws and traditions, but also a large body of unwritten oral tradition of equal or greater importance. This tradition was added onto by successive generations and came to carry more weight than the scripture. The greatest merit a Scribe or Rabbi might claim was the strictest following of the traditions he had received from his teacher. Even the Sanhedrin, the ruling council could not set aside the rulings of the preceding council. Everything was focused on the actions, a persons outward behavior. Either you were righteous - to them that meant right acting - based on your behavior, or you were a sinner.
(Sanhedrin slide)
Throughout the gospels and especially in this segment of Luke that began with the stories we looked at last week of the leper, the paralyzed man, and Jesus eating with the tax collectors and these two stories we listened to today - of the disciples eating grain they had gathered on the Sabbath and Jesus healing the withered hand on the Sabbath, it's obvious that Jesus is working from a completely different view of the world. Jesus sees Human beings. He sees into the heart of who and what we are and are meant to be. Jesus sees God as bigger than any set of rules, no matter how complex. Jesus doesn't put either people or God in a box. Where the Pharisees and Scribes view the outward actions of a person as what are important... and their laws, traditions and regulations apply to the external appearance. Jesus looks inside the people first - he touched the leper, he forgave the sins of the paralyzed man, he kept company with tax collectors and sinners. This inner view of people is summed up in the two stories we are looking at today: Jesus watched his disciples eat grain picked from the field and he says "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath" Jesus looks at the man with the withered hand and asks "What is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil?"
(The pharisee and the harlot slide)
For Jesus the law was a tool meant to serve man not subjugate him. In Mark the story of the grain is recorded similarly, except with the additional explanation "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." The law was intended to point to a good relationship between God and men and when the law was broken, bring about a consciousness of the broken relationship. The law was not intended to be an end in and of itself. What a person did wasn't supposed to define who they were!

What went wrong? The law overwhelmed the relationship with God. Rather than the law pointing people to God, the law became an end in itself.. Those who considered themselves righteous were setting themselves up against the law as the standard, rather than allowing God to judge them. They were self assured instead of God assured. Rather than the complexity of a real relationship with God, many chose to simply keep the rules so that God was neat, orderly and compartmentalized. It degraded God from a living loving creator, to an impersonal third party.
(Adam's creation slide)
Not only did it affect the relationships of people with God, it affected people's relationships to one another. The law became a tool of power. Power for oneself because rather than God being the source of judgement, the law was a tool that people wielded against others. Those who could keep the law were part of the in crowd, those who could not were sinners and outcasts. Those who kept the law would be loved and accepted by God, and obviously those who didn't, weren't. It only mattered that you were a human doing...
(Pharisee and publican slide)
It shocked me to get a glimpse of this burden on the people of Jesus' time. Legalism wasn't just replacing God with rules, it was also seeing people as merely a checklist of whether you looked okay on the outside. Instead of revealing truth and giving insight the law was used to judge and condemn people in their relationships to God and each other.

There is an essential element of legalism that is also an embodiment of the original sin -stealing God's power and position for ourselves. When the rules are used to give people the power of judgement that rightly belongs to God, when people control who is acceptable to God and who is not. There is an element in this of wanting our relationship with God to be easy, something we have control over. It's easier to run through a checklist and say "everything's fine" than be challenged continuously to grow. It's easier to control people if you have rules that they have to measure up to. Every one of us realizes in our heart of hearts though, that God is so much more than this.
(Contrast slide)
With two phrases of Jesus set up his contrasting Kingdom."The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath." And "Which is lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it." It's easy to read the first and think, of course Jesus is lord of the sabbath. However, the phrase Son of Man is used by Jesus constantly ... he constantly self identifies with his humanity. Humankind is Lord of the Sabbath. Mark writes Jesus's words as "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." The Sabbath was a tool to help people, not a goal for people to achieve. And not just the Sabbath, but all of the law. In Jesus's new Kingdom, the law serves its intended place as a truth-teller, as an informer of what good looks like and what breaks relationships. The law is banished from its role as taskmaster and slave owner, it is a servant of mankind.

So we've romped through history and seen how crazy the law was in Jesus' day. It wasn't simply a matter of the directives laid out in Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, but also all the traditions of the forefathers, all the teachings of various Rabbis through the years, and all the scriptural interpretations and conclusions drawn. And from this "law", the religious leaders of the day, divided people into the "righteous" and "sinners" based only on what showed on the outside. The law wasn't intended... as a means of stealing God's power and position of judge... for ourselves and what it was intended for: serving as a tool to help people see how relationships between people and God should be. Under the law, we were considered human doings, now we are human beings. God's Kingdom is larger and more wondrous than we can imagine.

Now obviously, we don't have the rules and regulations of the Pharisees and Scribes now a days, but we do have others. We're going to take the next 15-25 min and do some brainstorming together about what legalism looks like now... in our churches, between people, and in our own lives. After that, we're going to have some quiet time set aside to talk directly with God, and it has to do with the paper and pencils you found on your chair. But I'll tell you more later.

BRAINSTORMING ON WIPE BOARD

Let's start with some concrete ideas of some of our new "laws" (who what where when how)
God, world, church, people, me
What aren't you supposed to do in church? What actions are okay, what actions aren't? When can the law heal? When does it separate people from others in the church? When is it a tool of social exclusion? Status exclusion?

Would it be equally valid to discuss this as "the ways churches, leaders and people divide over rules, regulations, and interpretations" (rephrased however you choose).

C.S. Lewis " In the end, there will be two groups of people, those that say to God "Thy will be done" and those to whom God says "Thy will be done."

How big is your God? Have you accepted Him in and made a tidy little room in some compartment of your life? Then you have made Him into an idol and put Him on a shelf. Perhaps the rules are followed still, but your god is small - he is not the God of the Universe, the Creator of this intricate beauty that surrounds us. Do you realize you are surrounded by the Kingdom? Can you let go of the god of your little compartment and allow the God who surrounds you in to overwhelm your defenses and love you - shape you like you had shaped that former idol, bandage your pain, heal your scars and wounds, inflame your heart with His love and the wonder of all He is and created you to be...

Other thoughts for brainstorming:
Legalism - human doings
power over someone
rules
God as an intellectual subject
rules more important than God or people
stagnation, finish line
power over God and people, manipulative
self-assurance
letter of the law
serving the law
asks the question "what am I doing?"
creates hostility, results in division
extrinsic motivation for rules God having power over someone

Love - human beings
real relationships
a living loving creator
people and God more important than rules
growth, life as a journey
power from God and people, healing
good, right and true for their sake
intent of the law
serving God
"Who does God intend me to become?"
creates peace, heals broken relationships
intrinsic motivation for growth

CONTEMPLATION PAPER (write a message to God on dissolving paper)

LORD'S PRAYER (Laurie)

COMMUNION (Karen)

So, that was the service.

Catching up!

2006-08-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I am embarrassed to admit that it has been nearly three months since I've blogged.

To catch up with the busy summer: my wonderful nephew Jacob visited for five weeks, my mom Kathy (actually Matt's mom) came for two weeks, we've had two weddings (local) and a funeral (Ohio), went to Boise to see my new nephew mid June for a week, and for two weeks, passed a virus between the kids and I that featured 4-5 days of 104F temperatures. I wonder why I feel like I've had no time to catch up!

So, on the good side of things, lots to talk about:

the Mom's playgroup we started this summer is some 20 moms strong and having fun - our best playdate yet was to a free zoo in Aurora, IL that had a great playground too. Corwin and Angeleah went crazy they were having so much fun...

Had to resign my application to the therapy dog group, too much time was already committed per week and I couldn't add that in without quitting something else or skimping the kid's time. In a few years, Delilah and I will do that. She and I did great and it was a lot of fun, the dog group sent a really nice note letting us know we'd be welcome back anytime.

Had another chance to talk, I plan to post it and the original message. The best (most selfish?) part of getting to do the messages is the intense growth I experience each time I prepare one. How cool it would be to get to do them all the time! (How insane...)

Via Christus is sponsoring a craft booth at hometown days in Yorkville for all of us crafters. Thanks to that encouragement (and deadline) I've actually got my business going finally. While in Ohio for the funeral, I received my first four plate sales!!!

I discovered the voice memo function on my phone and filled it with little ditties I was singing to God in the car and other thoughts. I took one of the ditties, cleaned it up and wrote it down and shared it at God Things at tonight's Via Christus service. I had my usual performance anxiety attack, but tough, I'll get over it eventually if I can just manage to play enough. The song is posted here. You can download the free viewer here. The viewer will play the score for you and the lyrics are on the screen. I'd love comments on how to improve this - it's just a baby and I'd like to see it get finished.

Jacob's visit this year really made huge changes in Corwin. I noticed his conversational skills had taken a sudden leap and he gives so much more interaction in everything. Mostly it centers around the word "Why?" which I think has God laughing hysterically upstairs...I tortured my parents for years with that question. I definitely getting my just desserts. Potty training has begun, paused, gotten frustrated, almost made it and is working on staining our carpet. Can I just say, this stinks! It's all about the bathroom yur in...(hah, hah, get it?)

Angeleah has also leaped forward. Not conversationally, as she still only says 5 or less words somewhat consistently. Her climbing skills have increased dramatically. Earlier this summer we found her on top of the counter. Given that a stool puts her chin just past the counter, we aren't really sure how she got up there... She is determined to climb the indented fingertip drawer pulls of our TV cabinet. Her current best is about halfway up. She loves balancing along curbs and climbs on top of her rocking horse to stand no handed and laugh. She climbs the couch and if I hear too much giggling from the other room I know she has gotten on the back of the couch and is walking back and forth along the wall.

Matt's job has long commutes, but we appreciate the paycheck and stability of the job he's at currently. They also are letting him develop the kind of skills he's been wanting to develop, which is absolutely fabulous.

The church plant is slowly and steadily increasing. We're beginning to have a positive impact on our community through the food drives and the mom's group. May God help us find more ways to really bless others...

So I've posed enough topics, it's been a really busy summer, but really good...

Scheduled!

2006-05-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yea! On the schedule for tomorrow, so we'll see how Delilah and I do as a therapy dog team. I can't think of a better way to love hurting people... I hope we do well!

First Visit

2006-05-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

Today I met up with Helen and Ripley, a three year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel at Rush Copley in Aurora for my observation visit.

For Delilah and I to be able to participate in therapy dog visits, we had to pass the Canine Good Citizen test, the Therapy Dog test, visit a club meeting and have one observation visit, and three observed visits.

Hopefully, I will be able to set up an observed visit for Delilah on Thursday.

Surfing around...

2006-05-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

So tonight I was trying to catch up on my friends lives by checking their blogs and on Mike's I found this...

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman		93%
Batman		80%
Green Lantern		80%
Hulk		75%
Catwoman		70%
Iron Man		70%
Supergirl		68%
Superman		65%
The Flash		60%
Robin		56%
Spider-Man		40%

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Didn't God create us all to be superheroes?? Do you think His plan for you could be any less!!!?

Therapy Dogs

2006-05-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited about the therapy dog club here in Yorkville. It seems like a truly great way to love people with no other agenda in mind. Hopefuly, I can go visit AID next Tues and get a better feel.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my agendas for people or even myself. I seem to feel that the things I want to do and am empowered to do have to fit into some scheduled and justified compartment of my life. Somehow I've become trapped feeling like the good things I want and empowered to do, I have no time for...

Tonight's service

2006-05-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

So, when life's busy, blogging falls short...Today however was blog-worthy.
While Pastor Mike was at a church planting conference and Julie and Emma visited her parents in Austin, TX, the vision team ran the service. It was cool to see everyone really get into preparing their part. The topic tonight was legalism. Steve and Luke brought us to the heart of worship musically. Josh prayed for us and ushered us into the spirit of the discussion. Wendy read the scripture dramatically and helped organize our brainstorming thoughts on a wipe board. Jason and Karen shared stories from their life experience. Laurie shared "The Apprentice's Prayer" an applied version of the Lord's prayer. The other Karen put together a slide show with text and images that focused us contemplatively on Communion. I thought it went relatively smoothly. But maybe that's just because I was nervous about doing the message. The one hiccup was trying to setup the second laptop. Some nerves got frazzled because of communication issues, but it seemed to smooth out eventually.
It was fun to watch us do it and realize that we could. In my welcome section, I made mention that in Mike's absence, "we are all ministers, one to another, a serving priesthood of believers. Tonight, it is our prayer, that we come together under the incredible vision God has put inside us: to Love Him and love each other well..."

The most incredible thing tonight for me was to see Jason, the two Karens, and Laurie step really far outside their comfort zones and make public contributions. It blessed me, touched me, really deeply.

So, the order of service was:
Welcome (Char)
Worship (Steve and Luke)
Prayer (Josh)
Scripture Reading (Wendy)
Personal Story (Jason)
Message/Context for discussion (Char)
Personal Story (Karen)
Brainstorming (Char & Wendy)
Time for Reflection with God
Lord's Prayer (Laurie)
Communion (Karen)
Announcements (Char)
Blessing (Matt)

I loved how everyone contributed. I think somehow this participation of believers to me at least seems closer to what the early church looked like. Believers being ministers one to another. Everyone bringing what they had to contribute and serving each other in love. It bothers me when church is authoritative or too vertically structured on a human scale.

Okay, so enough for tonight. As I can, I'll get segments of my message posted for y'all to have fun with...

My Theology #1 The Bible

2006-04-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've realized lately that I really need to think deeply about what I believe and what I do with that belief. I find myself torn between differing agendas. Perhaps by journaling some thoughts I can make what is insubstantial, firmer. So, this is intended as the beginning of a process and I reserve every right to change my mind as often as I'd like through the process... Comments are very welcome!

I believe that the Bible is inspired by God, written by all too human writers, addressing the various issues/contexts of each book's time and historically documenting the interactions of man and God. I believe it is without error or contradiction when correctly understood. In matters of internal contradiction, I assume the picture that God paints is broader that the verses that oppose each other. I believe that God is unchanging through the ages, His eternal nature is internally consistent. The Bible should be viewed as a picture of the actions of that kind of God.

I believe its purpose is primarily narrative - to tell the story of man and God. In the OT, it's often the good, bad and indifferent of the individuals and nation of Israel and its forebearers. In the NT it is the story of Jesus, his disciples, and the growth/struggles of the early church. Because of these topics, the historical/cultural/individual worldview of the time speaks directly to our understanding of these messages. To understand God's purpose and message we must try to understand His actions within the context of each circumstance - and try to see the worldview we bring to the reading of the scripture.

As someone who has studied four languages, I understand the original language to be an essential ingredient to proper understanding of the text. However, culture and language are inextricably intertwined. I'll let experts render their opinions to me in both, so that I may delve into understanding more deeply who is God and my relationship with Him.

The Bible is essential as a reference and standard. However, I do not believe in worshipping the book, it is a tool, not the goal.

You might be a hypocrite if...

2006-04-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

You sit there and blab to all your friends how your 2yr old is using words that you don't think he should. How you don't believe in talking that way...

Then afterwards (why never before?) listen to yourself talk and realize that whomever you are around, you match their language. So obviously those words did come out of your mouth...

Logs are harder to get out of an eye than splinters...

Did I mention how much I hate hypocrisy? Especially my own!

Emergent ROTFL

2006-04-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Linda clued me into this great post You might be emerging if...

Loving Others

2006-04-01T19:47:00.000-08:00

Been thinking a lot about Matthew 22:37-41 lately.

I have a lot of head knowledge about God, and He has done great things for me, but I can't say that I love Him the way I think He means. I do love Him with my mind, but I am not sure that my heart and soul are fully engaged. Honestly, my heart is probably half engaged. And my soul? I don't know.

And then, there's the neighbor thing. I have the me first american attitude. If I am taken care of, then I'm willing to extend my excess towards my neighbor. However, "love thy neighbor as thyself" suggests that whatever state I am in, I am responsible for raising my neighbor up to that state as well. Oh. Ouch.

When I start thinking about this, I start worrying about what I'll lose. I can't pay two mortgages like what I have now. I can't pay off a second set of loans like we just got rid of. I can't, I can't, I can't. Amazing how negative I immediately become. Somehow I don't think God envisioned this kind of economy as a losing economy. If I envision it as a gaining economy, if I don't worry about loss and concentrate on gain, where can I go?

We live in middle class suburbia. The poor are those whose financial mismanagement has backed them into a corner or those who bought too much house. The elderly or impoverished whose taxes are going to cause the loss of their house. Those who can't afford the rent increases as the area becomes more affluent. The sick are the disabled, and those in nursing homes. The pariahs are those outside the norm. I know there is more, but that's a starting point.

How to love them? Financial education, helping with payments, job training, caregiving, assisted therapy, big brother/big sister, desegregation. What else could be done?

More women in ministry

2006-03-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

The other day Mike mentioned he had posted to the CGGC emergent page on women in ministry and provoked a debate. I finally got a chance to look and comment.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I run into this issue so much is that God is preparing me to speak out about it...

Just plain me

2006-03-09T21:50:00.000-08:00

Mike's post speaks to the heart of the issue. What would happen if people just took me for myself?

1) I could use a power tool without threatening anyone's masculinity.
2) I could want to learn to preach and people would celebrate rather than ruminate.
3) I could speak out in a group of guys without being labeled a "pushy female."
4) I could speak my mind without women telling me I was not a normal woman.
5) I could fairly earn my way rather than being granted a conciliatory "female" slot.
6) No one would remind me that "Eve made Adam sin." Is my name Eve?
7) My husband wouldn't feel beat up by others because he's introverted and I'm extroverted.
8) When I know how to do something, someone might actually listen. Strangely enough, if it involves childrearing or household stuff, they do listen.
9) The best is last of course:

Did you know that the reason I love the things I do, and act the way I do? It's all in rebellion to my bad father. If I had a normal childhood, I'd be a normal woman.

Do you have any idea how often I've been told that? The message is twofold 1) you're in rebellion and your real nature is different 2) God makes every woman the same

Like Julie said, how different is it from racism? All you see is the outside and from that you "know" what's inside.

Sacred Space

2006-02-25T07:58:00.000-08:00

I was looking around about prayer wor tonights worship component and found this really cool site.

1 Timothy 3:12

2006-02-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

This discussion Matt initiated has transitioned into a completely different discussion of marriage and divorce within the conservative Christian population.

Somehow, Christians have become more likely to be divorced than any other faith group besides Jews, additionally, they are more likely than even agnostics or atheists. (see the comments under "gune" for the statistics).

If the Way of Christ, the Good News, is truly a better way to live, then I would think we should see better results than in the general populace. This suggests to me that something we teach about marriage, divorce and relationships is not Christ-like.

What do you think?

Reading about Labyrinths

2006-02-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

We pass from obscurity to greater obscurity, and enter with Moses into cloud and darkness; deep calls to deep at the sound of the cataracts of God, and, circling in circles, the spirit goes forth and returns to its own circuits. We endure labyrinthine errors and guide our blind footsteps by the thread of Christ. - Jerome, Preface to Book 2, Commentary on Zacharias

It amazes me how interwoven everything is: from "gune" to divorce and polygamy, to leadership, to how we define our relationships before God. What does it mean to truly love God and love everyone else?

Less Disconnected

2006-02-19T19:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks y'all for getting me to blog - I feel immensely less disconnected from life.

Superficial social interactions never really cut it for me, they're tiring. I like to talk about what people are thinking about and dealing with in real life. This sort of stimulating conversation really is a anti-depressant when you've been sick and dealing with sick kids for two weeks straight.

Thanks again!

Gune

2006-02-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

Albrecht Oepke wrote this article for the TDNT, so give him credit where credit is due. My understanding of Greek is rudimentary at best.

Gune, generally from the time of Homer, refers to a) female, as distinct from male, b) wife.

In the Contemporary NT world:
GREECE
Attic (Athenian?) Greeks despised and oppressed women according to their surviving literature - viewing them as having inferior status, fickle, a misfit, having no claim to culture.
Doric (Spartan?) Greeks in Plutarch's literature, endowed women with more freedom and influence, and attributed them with proud and heroic natures.
Generally, the Greek ideal of woman was lofty, both physically and spiritually. "Plato in the Republic makes the demand, revolutionary in the Attic world though common in the Doric, that there should be an equality of women, even in respect of exercise in arms. In fact the capable women, especially in Hellenistic Asia Minor but also in Greece, could occupy a surprisingly independent and influential role even in public life." (Vol 1, pg 778)

Marriage was mostly monogamous but serial divorces could lead to a type of polygamy. Oepke quotes Ps.-Demosth. against Neaira: "We have harlots for our pleasure, concubines for daily physical use, wives to bring up legitimate children and to be faithful stewards in household matters." No legal restrictions existed. Divorces were not uncommon, occurring by consent or unilateral action of either spouse. Apparently, "eleven, even twelve wives, were not uncommon."

ROME
"The husband had only mild superiority which constantly diminished." No seclusion for women as the Attic Greek's did, equality in education was pursued. Marriage was monogamous, like the Greeks excepting intercourse with slaves or harlots, but there was only one mater familias.
Roman women in later times counted years by their husband - eight marriages could be contracted within five autumns. Oepke seems to be saying that the women became more divorce prone, like the Greek men had.

OT WOMEN
Oepke points to various passages alluding to women's status as chattel but balances it with her freedoms. He names the variety of OT women who attained extraordinary influence through their men, as well as Deborah, who led Israel.

JUDAISM
"Woman is openly dispised."(pg781) Rabbinic literature attributed empty-headedness, witchcraft, extravagance in teaching her the Torah, she should not bear witness, instruct the children, pray at the table. In the synagogues, the women's place was behind a screen or in special chambers.
On the good side, the godly wife is praised, she is thought to have greater promise before God than her husband.

Marriage is permissibly polygamous, but the expense and problems made monogamy more practical. "The real evil in the Jewish and the Hellenistic world, together with divorce and prostitution, was successive polygamy...Strict Judaism opposed not only adultery and unnatural licence, but also extramarital intercourse..." The divorce laws were protested against regularly, but never to much effect.

CHRISTIANITY
Two points: man and woman should join in inviolatable monogamous marriage and "the lordship of God radically removes all the differences which separate them" (pg784).

Oepke says Jesus "is the Saviour who gives Himself especially to the lowly and oppressed and calls all without distinction to the freedom of the kingdom of God." (pg 784) In that sense, women are specially singled out, as are other sick and hurting peoples.

"In the early community, there was no doubt as to the full membership of women (Acts 1:14, 12:12). In Paul, practical conservativeness contrasts with theological equality. Later apostolic writings continue Paul's contrasts. Historically, women exercised less and less official functions as time passed.

Okay, that was 13 pages in more than a nutshell. But an interesting background to put behind some of the scriptural references.

If Oepke is accurate, then Matt's post regarding 1 Tim 3:12 would be answered thusly. Gune is wife, not spouse, in both historical literature and other scriptural references. If I remember my Greek correctly, precedence indicates importance. My interlinear notes word order of: Deacons let be of one wife husbands, children well ruling, and their own households. Given Kittel's cultural context lesson, it would suggest that this particular verse is speaking against divorce and successive polygamy. Contextually, Paul's letter to Timothy has a lot more to say about women.

But it's midnight and I'll stop here for now.

Busy Day

2006-02-18T18:25:00.000-08:00

And what constitutes a busy day for a stay-at-home Mom, on a Saturday that Dad's home too? Holding sick children all day, dealing with sick-in-need-of-sleep children in the evening when Dad is going out to play poker. Putting cranky (all of the above) children into bed when they need it but don't want it. Deciding whether to go to bed myself because I'm emotionally exhausted or get some "me" time in, so maybe I'll sleep. I'm tempted to put in a workout video, because my exercise for the day involved shifting child/ren on my lap and changing diapers. I did get somewhat of a mental workout however. Twenty three pages of The Idea of The Labyrinth by Penelope Reed Doob. Basically, the intro and a couple pages into chapter one. Reads like a masters or doctoral thesis. 129 pages into Labyrinths & Mazes by Jeff Saward, whom the book says is the "leading authority in his field." Given that I've spent about an equal amount of time reading both books, it might lead an observer to conclude Saward's book is more accessible. His book is certainly an easy read, simply a survey of labyrinth occurances geographically and historically. I'll probably finish his book first, with 76 pages left (do you think??). I'm glad I read some of Penelope's first because they are two very different viewpoints on the subject and already contradict one another :) Yea! I have a feeling that I'll like her book better because it is more information like I wanted - specifically, the meaning of labyrinths historically and culturally. Matt's latest post also provoked a flurry of reading. We have Kittel's Theological Dictionary of the New Testament a great greek resource of unmatched breadth and depth. Its age (original publish date 1964) means there are some things that have been updated since, but the scholarship is great. Kittel's is renowned for not only examining the use of particular words in the Bible, but also available extrabiblical literature, ie. how other greek authors used the words. It's a great thing for looking up words like "gune" from 1 Timothy 3:12. Thirteen pages of very small type. Very interesting, I learned more in thirteen pages of Kittel than I did in 4 hours of reading on the internet after Julie's bloglink to N.T. Wright. Of course, I found more diversity of thought on the internet. Ms. Doob would have characterized Kittle as mid-level reception, "interpretations of texts and visual images by skilled readers whose comments refect competence but not the idiosyncrasies fo genius..." Okay, so to dig into Kittel...I think I'll post these separately.

Sick kids

2006-02-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

Both kids are in bed after not napping all day. Corwin has run a fever as high as 102.7 several times today and is nearly incoherent with exhaustion. I am nearly incoherent with exhaustion. Matt is at Vision Team - and I wish I could have gone, but better that he is there and I am here. No need to pass the germs any more than necessary. Besides, it just means I'll talk too much and listen too little again - a real struggle for me.

Women in ministry

2006-02-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

Julie Clawson brought up an interesting link to a talk on women in ministry (here).

Should women minister?

I wrestle hugely with this issue. Both my husband and I value the scripture and treat it as the inerrant word of God, correctly understood. We also believe that scripture is internally consistent, again, correctly understood.

Which, as a very VERY proactive, strong minded, extroverted, not afraid to speak my mind, kind of gal - gets me in big trouble with men of the religious persuasion who believe Paul meant all women, everywhere, at all times, should be quiet in church. I'm not quiet. And I think they're wrong, which means I explain. At which point, I somehow have become "feminist" and my salvation is at question (I only exagerate a very little).

It would seem universally agreeable however, if I minister to children (yes, I may talk there) or be a missionary to some other culture. Just so long as I don't cross their path.

Hmmm....of course they are not being contradictory.

So back to the talk. Thought provoking moments:

Mary and Martha - never linked her sitting at Jesus feet to Paul's comment of sitting at the feet of Gamaliel. That seems reasonable. However, regarding the parts of the house - thought the Jews were much more relaxed about male/female social boundaries. Well, I went online to see what I could find. Hah! Too much of an indeterminate nature. Some sources say women are honored, some say they are not. Nothing specific about women's and men's areas of the house. Anyone have any information to back this up?

Can I just say I'm beginning to be sorry I started to write about this? I spent several hours looking around last night and several hours this morning off and on. This is just not worth it - the issue is really only important to me from a personal standpoint, all honesty intended. And really only important when I'm doing something I should be doing and someone tries to stop me.

So, what do I think? I think all people should love God and love others - and in loving them aid them on whatever path God is taking them. He is the one who blesses ministry and if He is behind it, do we want to go head to head with God? If He doesn't bless the ministry, it will die on its own, right?

Or maybe I'm really just too tired to think clearly about this whole thing...

Thoughts?

2006-02-14T10:56:00.000-08:00

Art for children's sake is still art

GiraSoul

2006-02-13T19:32:00.000-08:00

According to Mirriam-Webster Online - (girasol) an opal of varying color that gives out fiery reflections in bright light

GiraSoul - When divinely illuminated, an iridescent soul that flares with fiery reflections

Haven't you experienced that?

The moment when it all comes together, nothing seems like it can go wrong...like God is so totally on your side it almost seems like you have exactly the same plan, the same goal.

And it happens, perfectly...

You're trying to say something really intense and meaningful - and you can't believe that you just said that perfect something, even though you usually stumble over all those words...

You've been asked to do this thing way outside your comfort zone, and it goes off beautifully, even though you still really don't have the faintest clue how it was supposed to really occur - it just all came together...

Truthfully? And most of the time, these things don't. Instead of the perfect something, it's the perfect foot into the mouth (couldn't I have just shut up?!!)...or the fumble, bumble, boy I'm in trouble, couldn't someone just bail me out, type of flop that I wonder why I ever volunteered for in the first place.

But I wish, I wonder, what would it look like to be an iridescent flaring reflection of the Divine Light.
And shouldn't we be?