1 Timothy 3:12
This discussion Matt initiated has transitioned into a completely different discussion of marriage and divorce within the conservative Christian population.
Somehow, Christians have become more likely to be divorced than any other faith group besides Jews, additionally, they are more likely than even agnostics or atheists. (see the comments under "gune" for the statistics).
If the Way of Christ, the Good News, is truly a better way to live, then I would think we should see better results than in the general populace. This suggests to me that something we teach about marriage, divorce and relationships is not Christ-like.
What do you think?
Somehow, Christians have become more likely to be divorced than any other faith group besides Jews, additionally, they are more likely than even agnostics or atheists. (see the comments under "gune" for the statistics).
If the Way of Christ, the Good News, is truly a better way to live, then I would think we should see better results than in the general populace. This suggests to me that something we teach about marriage, divorce and relationships is not Christ-like.
What do you think?
posted by Charlotte Wyncoop at 8:31 AM
6 Comments:
okay you said to start this in a new thread... so here goes with some really random thoughts.
I think you and Mike are saying similar things about pre-marriage relationships. His point seemed to be that if cohabitaing was view as "marriage" of a sort, then nonchristian rates of divorce/separation would be higher than the christian rates. It wasn't an excuse, just an observation. Marriage for many christians is about sex being allowed. many christian marry way younger than then others because it is the only okay way to have sex. Its a weird tension - because of all the growth hormones in the milk and meat we eat, Americans hit puberty way earlier than anyone ever has in history. We have extended childhood to at least 18 (some could argue early 20s) which means people mature a lot later. And the acceptable age of marriage has been pushed back. so people are sexually capable earlier and mature later and forced to wait longer. It is only within the christian world that the need to fulfill sexual urges is met with repression or the option of early marriage. (and I am not saying that we are animals who cant help it, just that it does exist). Add to that mix naive christian girls who deal with the weird christian guilt about sex at all, who have never been allowed freedom, may not complete an education, and start having kids at just about the time other women are beginning to discover who they really are... as well as young men who literally interpret that wives submitting to them to mean that their wives must do everything thing they say and so forth. and a church which ignores most of those issues, sees counseling as bad, and often does not allow women to develop themselves... one begins to see the recipe for disaster. again its not an excuse for divorce, but perhaps a snapshot of some of the issues.
okay i really rambled with my opinions there. hope they make some sense.
Just got around to reading this whole train of thought. It went much beyond where I was going. I agree that you all seem to be on the right track. Here's my thoughts:
I believe marriage is important and also agree that some of our repression may be part of the problem. However I see the repression as necessary. I think we need to add some more pieces to it in order to build up stronger wiser christians.
On the other side, most of these problems are more current generation issues and how much of our society's relativism could be helping the problem.
hmm... more repression. I'm not sure that that is the way to go, I think more repression would just make the problem worse. Perhaps healthy forms of sexuality might help more. It seems false to have the choice be between free love and repression.
Strangely enough in America today we are living in a more sexually repressed culture than for most of western history - which may be why breaking that norm takes such extreme forms or creates such a stir.
More repression? You better explain this hon - because I have no idea what you mean?
Unless what you are talking about is like our pre-marriage relationship. We valued the message of Christ's freedom from sin and the choice that it offered us. We chose to abstain, our mutual respect for each other kept us working on abstaining as each of us were tempted, and so we felt like it was truly our choice. I did not feel like Paul's comments "I do what I do not want to do."
The message we received from various sources contradicted this stance we took. Our bible school professors told us to get married quickly because otherwise we would fall into sin. Our singles groups were full of conservative Christians who practiced sex before marriage. My family was certainly we were lying, except my mother who chose to believe us.
What would happen if we taught people they had a choice and responsibility because Christ's work in them allowed them to overcome their past? What would happen if marriage partners work together to help each other overcome problems?
"If the Way of Christ, the Good News, is truly a better way to live, then I would think we should see better results than in the general populace. This suggests to me that something we teach about marriage, divorce and relationships is not Christ-like."
You said a lot there. Unfortunately, your facts about divorce in the church are true and have been well known for some time. :)
You hit on what I think is one of the major failings of the church when you spoke about what we teach, or in many cases fail to teach, our faith families. There are too many christians that I meet who are ignorant of the teachings of scripture. It is kind of like no one reads the EULA in their software packages and cries foul later when the software company comes after them. If we do not teach God's mind on the things that comprise our daily lives, we cannot expect the church to be the shining light that beckons to the world around it to come join it.
This blog has wandered all over a lot of topics so I will not comment on them all here. However, as for more repression, I think Warephreak may have stepped off a ledge there. :)
More repression is not what I said.
I said that we need to add "other" things (Self Control, Education, Morals, ...) in addition to the necessary level of repression. I'm not saying that the current level of repression is correct either. I'm not sure what those things are at the moment or how to go about it. But I do not want to add more repression.
Post a Comment
<< Home